Dilbert's Lucky Charms
by ChipChallenge149
Summary: He is in charge of a carnival and makes a slide. This slide uses a cushion of lucky charms. Wally almost gets stuck in it then he has worse luck! Most of it's like the Charity episode, with some from The Prototype.


The boss one day decided to make the carnival. Dilbert didn't like this idea. Then Alice asked him why he hated rides. He said they were cheap thrills. Boss said to Dilbert: If you don't like this idea, then why don't I put you in charge of it…carnival chairman Dilbert!

On the following day, Dilbert came to work again. He saw Wally wearing a monkey costume. Dilbert asked him why he was wearing the costume. Wally said that he needed money to help with the carnival. Dilbert gave him twenty dollars. Wally said that Dilbert should make a hospital named after him. Dilbert told him about his position in the carnival and that Wally forgot where the money would go. Wally said he didn't know where pudding came from but he ate it anyway. Dilbert told Wally that he used a bad analogy. When Alice heard that, she said to Wally: Thank you, Wally; now I can't eat pudding again!

Dilbert was making a design on his computer. It was a ride for the carnival. After Wally left, he told himself that he might as well make a ride good for him if he put himself in a bad position. He started with the simple step: making a ladder. He was a particular man who wanted everything perfect…for his sake sometimes. It may have seemed simple to most people, but to Dilbert, he figured the angle of the ladder, the distance between each step, and the material of the ladder. Most people only care about the length, or as Dilbert would say, the hypotenuse. He figured these four statistics, respective to the earlier plans: 75 degree angle, 1 foot steps, plastic, and 207 feet long. This slide would be 200 feet tall.

The coloring came next. He wanted the ladder to be red and the slide yellow. The slide would also be plastic. Even if everybody in the company donated $20, Dilbert wouldn't be able to make a red-and-yellow twisted coloring on the slide. Maybe the rungs of the ladder could be yellow at no additional cost. But he wanted the color more even. From the front or back view, he figured that the red would be nearly invisible. People would find it more attractive with a variety of colors. Besides, it would probably be the most attractive ride at the carnival if Dilbert were a good enough engineer.

Then came the final part, which was the slide. He didn't want the slide so steep. That was a dilemma between cost and thrill. He decided that more cost would be better than an excessive thrill. He knew that far less people would go if they thought of it as a fatal ride. And by the way, it would be the same up as down. Dilbert decided to make the slide a 60° angle. That way, older people would go on it, and the older people would have more money. Only the freaky people would go on a slide of 75°, and not many freaks would be there. Wally! He would be there with his freaky thrill attitude. Still, Dilbert thought something was missing from his ride. Besides the fact that it would be a tube slide, he wanted it to stand out more.

Wally suddenly came back down the hall. Instead of his usual coffee cup he held, it was a cereal bowl. Wally came back into Dilbert's cubicle. He said: Hey Dilbert, do you want some Lucky Charms? First Dilbert said: How much did you pay for it? Wally told him: It's for free in the meeting room. Then Dilbert said: OK that sounds good right now; I'm glad it isn't twenty dollars. Wally said he didn't waste Dilbert's money.

The two of them went to the meeting room. Wally showed Dilbert a wall full of lucky charm boxes, which were single serving sized. Dilbert took one and got some milk from the fridge. After getting his cereal ready, he asked Wally: Do you think I could get full sized boxes of this for free? Wally told him about the Homeless Depot, where they were sold for free, in any size. Dilbert told him that he would use them on his slide. Wally said: You can also buy your ride parts at homeless depot. This made Dilbert eager to get off work.

Since Dilbert was basically done with his designing for the day, he went to get some coffee like Wally would. He went to Wally's cubicle to talk with him. They talked about the monkey suit. Wally wore it so that people would want to donate, because it looked funny. Wally was about to show Dilbert what he had been working on when their boss came by. Then the screen on Wally's computer went to screen saver. Although Wally was making a computer game, he showed the boss his screen saver that looked good enough to the boss. The boss left and Wally showed Dilbert a guy in a wheelchair who was crossing traffic so he wouldn't get hit.

Dilbert finally left work. He headed for the homeless depot. After arriving, he had the feeling that Wally told more than just Dilbert that the homeless depot was a good place to shop. He saw Alice there. She made her own shopping cart. It had a motor to help her shop faster. He bought 50 boxes of lucky charms. Then he got 50 more small boxes of them. They hardly fit in his cart! Dilbert asked Alice if he could use her cart instead. Alice declined. Then he went out to his car and put them all in, with the help of the cashier. Alice left the store shortly after.

Dilbert had a good plan now: predicting that 50 people come on his ride, he would give each customer a big box of Lucky Charms and a small box. The big was for dumping to the bottom (for a good cushion) and the small was for eating later. Now, if he got down to 20 boxes left each, he would call in Dogbert for backup to go in the helicopter to Homeless Depot. That way he wouldn't easily run out.

The next day came and it was the weekend now. He didn't have work and it just happened that the carnival was today. At 10 in the morning it started. Dilbert went a little early to place his ride. Wow, he needed a crane to place it! At 200 feet, he needed some major help putting it together.

He got the long table from the meeting room over too. Here he would set up the cereal boxes. Dilbert was setting up the last few boxes when his watch told him that it was 10. A few minutes after, he saw some people show up. They went on some rides and some came to his. Dilbert looked around after giving a couple some admission boxes; $5 each. He saw Wally in the park. Wally was going on everything except for Dilbert's ride. Dilbert started getting a lot of people on his ride, with some people coming again. Dilbert charged $10 for duplicate riders.

Wally had basically been on all the rides except for Dilbert's slide. Dilbert had used up 39 admissions. He now had $250 from it all. The rides were costly only because it was a charity event. Dilbert saw Wally heading for his ride. Dilbert said: Wally, are you having fun yet? Wally said: yes; you're the last one I need to visit. On the 40th admission, Wally went up. Dilbert called for Dogbert. However, Dogbert was at another booth, too busy to leave. Dogbert bribed Dilbert by having him try his booth: Hit a kid.

Dogbert had also taken Dilbert's electronic devices. They were prizes. Dilbert was about to throw his ball at a kid but he felt bad. So he decided he would close his booth temporarily and go himself. Dilbert was mad. He went back to his booth and heard yelling inside the slide: help! I can't get out of here! It was Wally yelling in the slide. Wally was stuck from all the cereal. Too much cereal can happen. Dilbert found that out just now.

He took a nearby shovel and took all the cereal out. He was going to be nice to Wally for helping him with his project. Wally was glad to get out. Then Dilbert returned to Homeless Depot. He got 30 more boxes each. He came back and restarted the booth. Then Wally was going around, looking for repeats on rides. He got a hot dog and sat on a bench. This bench happened to be a dunk. Then Dogbert saw this and he changed his booth.

Dogbert set up a stand called "Dunk Wally" and it was for $10. People from everywhere came up to the booth. They came fast and Dogbert looked excited at all the money he had earned for the carnival. Wally saw everyone with baseballs turn to him. He wondered why everybody was here. But before he could ask, they all threw the balls at his target.

Wally suddenly found that he was in the water. Oops! He sure made a mistake. Then Alice saw him fall and went over to take him out. Out of the water is what she meant. Wally couldn't breathe. The people who were standing all around thought she was going to hit him. But instead Dilbert thought she was going to kiss him. Dilbert gave Alice a napkin so she could breathe in his mouth. She did and Wally spit some water out of his mouth. Wally told her: I don't believe it! I've been date raped by Alice!

Alice went over to Dilbert and told him that he was right to not like carnivals. If this kind of stuff happens at carnivals, then there's no reason to like it. Instead, Dilbert said: I liked making this slide, at least. Dilbert was soon out of boxes and he decided to close his slide. Alice didn't believe what Dilbert just told her because he didn't bother getting more boxes. She left the carnival soon after that happened.

Soon the carnival was over and everyone went away. Fortunately, nobody else was stuck in the slide. Dilbert took a picture of the slide and decided that he would put it in his cubicle on Monday. Then Dilbert's boss went to work and put up his charity plaque. It was across the wall from Dilbert's picture. His boss tried to put a nail in the wall but Wally sent a fly to the room he was in. The boss tried to swat the fly but he hit the wall. Now there was a hole in the wall.

Dilbert saw this and his boss said: I'm going to need another plaque! Dilbert was pist! So he put a plaque design on his computer. Then he quickly printed it out and built it. His boss was walking down the hall and Dilbert gave him the plaque. His boss said: Here, keep it and put it on your side. It won't really matter what side it's on! Dilbert didn't have a problem with that. He'd only need to move his own picture.


End file.
